


Moon Gazing

by Lacertae



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Late Night Conversations, Omnics, Past Character Death, Reminiscing, Team Bonding, mentions of other overwatch characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 13:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19702639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacertae/pseuds/Lacertae
Summary: *Winston & Zenyatta* There is a time for moon gazing, and a time for sharing burdens and memories of the past.





	Moon Gazing

**Author's Note:**

> Winston is a character that deserves much more than he gets. And so is Zenyatta. So I coupled my need for more Zenyatta friendships with my desire to give Winston some attention :> dedicated to fred the frenf ;)

**Moon Gazing**

The nights at the base were cold.

Since it was facing the sea directly, the Gibraltar area was subjected to cold winds sweeping from the ocean, and even though during the day the sun was bright and the sea-salt air humid, at night the temperatures dropped a lot, and the base had been left unattended long enough that the heaters were not quite functioning yet.

Athena had mentioned it, when Genji and Zenyatta had arrived at the base –there was only Lena already there with them, and of course Winston, and Athena had managed to work out how to heat the sitting room and one of the bedrooms, but the work was slow, and Athena had lots to do around the base.

Heating was no priority.

Zenyatta was not as bothered by it as the humans –even Genji felt the loss of heat, at least in the parts of him that were still human, the patches that connected wires and circuits to skin, most of all– but he could thermoregulate better if he had solar charge during the day, which often meant long walks or working outside, trying to fix the base into proper order.

Still, there were times when Zenyatta had been coped inside for too long during the day, and at night he felt the chill on his sensors, the exposed circuitry working at a lower percentage due to the cold.

During those nights, he found himself taking slow walks around the base, using his fans to power himself and regulate his temperature better while Genji dozed off, curled up in three blankets, cocooned on the only bed of their room.

Tonight was one such night.

Restless and a little cold, the sky covered in patchy clouds, Zenyatta had shuffled out of their room and into the labyrinth of corridors of the base, exploring some of the deeper parts in the lower levels, then resurfaced once the stuffy air was too much for his fans.

Walking, other than heating up his circuits, also helped him think.

Overwatch had been unofficially reinstated only a month earlier, and so far, no other agent had answered.

Zenyatta, having seen Talon’s attacks on himself and Genji, couldn’t help but be worried, even if he’d never met any of the other agents.

He wondered if they’d failed to answer for similar hang ups as Genji had, before deciding to face his past and turn his experience into something better under Winston’s guidance, or if they had been already found, and silenced.

If there was a chance for more people to come, they would surely arrive, and that was a hope Zenyatta found himself clinging to. The world was rather large, after all.

They could afford to start small, for now.

A movement caught his attention, and Zenyatta turned his optical receptors upwards.

The base was rather large, used to host more than hundreds of agents, and was divided in blocks, with a road connecting every area together, and at the point he was in, the road took a sudden dip below ground, with a passage bridge right above connecting two buildings –a storage unit and the security camera room.

Zenyatta was standing a little to the side, near the abrupt jump that faced the ocean and the rocks below and a small patch of rocky beach, stairs right by him, and as he looked up, he recognised a bulky figure sitting on the upper railing, right in the middle of the passage bridge.

For a moment, he hesitated, observing the figure but not sure whether he should approach or not.

Winston had been open and content at their arrival, surprised by Genji’s presence more than anything else, yet hopeful they could reconvene and work towards a better future for overwatch, and had welcomed Zenyatta with open arms, and yet…

Zenyatta had noticed that Winston did not quite like huge crowds. Even with two other people he seemed to retreat a little, fumbling and awkward, and he did not like to think he might intrude on his personal alone time like this, yet…

It was admirable that the scientists who had worked so hard on the program on the moon had managed to aid the growth of intelligence of gorillas enough that Zenyatta, stretching his senses out, could feel his feelings reflected with such clarity, unlike the mindless tangle of senseless emotions that normal animals had.

It truly set Winston apart.

Maybe too much, at times.

Mind set, Zenyatta slowly climbed the stairs, feet light on the steps, yet once he was on top, he made sure to make enough noise that Winston would hear him approach, so not to catch him unaware.

Winston did not move, eyes turned to the sky, and with a small glance, Zenyatta realised he was staring at the moon.

It was not full –that would not happen for a few more days still– but it was a good three-quarters, and the clouds surrounded it without touching it, allowing for a good view of its pale face.

Zenyatta’s optical receptors watched as Winston’s eyes flickered to him, his body a little tense, but Zenyatta said nothing, simply sitting at his side –not close enough to touch him, but close enough to show he was not intimidated or afraid.

After a few seconds, Winston seemed to relax. “Uh, hey, Zenyatta. I mean, Tekhartha Zenyatta.” He fumbled a bit, brows furrowed, and glanced from him to the moon, unsure whether to devote attention to him or not.

“Good evening, Winston,” Zenyatta murmured, and smiled through his forehead array. “Zenyatta is fine. You are a friend.”

This seemed to startle Winston enough that he turned to look at him, the wave of baffled confusion so strong it washed over Zenyatta with little filter, stronger than a human’s would feel.

“Ah. I’m… well. Thank you. What, uh, what brings you out here?”

Zenyatta hummed, settling in a comfortable position, and looked up at the moon. “Sometimes I need to keep my circuits warm at night, when I have not worked in the sun the previous day.”

“Oh, shi– I mean. Sorry about that. Athena is doing all she can, but there’s more to do around the base than we anticipated.”

“I am aware. I spoke with Athena and offered my assistance, and I do not mind waiting. Walking helps, and it is how I found you out here, after all.” He paused for a moment, then decided to add, in a quieter tone, “and I doubt the reason for your presence here is the same as mine.”

“Ah, well. No, not really. I, uh, I’m quite always warm, no problem.” Winston patted his chest awkwardly, aware that Zenyatta knew already but feeling better for mentioning it anyway. “I just, you know. Like being out. Looking at the stars, and…”

He waved towards the sky, to the unassuming view of the moon, and there was so much longing in his aura that Zenyatta felt a pang in his core.

“I could never begin to understand how it feels to be so far from where you were born,” Zenyatta acquiesced with a small nod, and Winston sighed. “It is not an easy place to reach for a weekend roadtrip.”

Winston’s laughter was short but explosive, and he slapped one big hand in front of his mouth almost right away, scandalized at his own reaction, but as Zenyatta chuckled to let him know it was ok, he relaxed quickly, though there was still an air of embarrassment around him.

“Yeah, it’d be… difficult.” Winston curled his upper lip a little, showing his teeth. “Have never been good at floating or… landing.”

Zenyatta took that at face value. “Was that something you did a lot, on the Lunar Colony?”

“It was a common exercise, helped us with boredom. And build muscle,” he added as an afterthought, showing off one of his enormous arms. “You’d never believe I was one of the smallest ones.”

Considering one of his arms was bigger than Zenyatta’s torso, Zenyatta could relate. “Indeed.”

They shared a small glance, and Zenyatta found himself relaxing a little more as well, at ease now that he could feel Winston letting go of what was left of his tension.

“Do you miss it?” he finally asked.

“The Moon? Or…” Winston snorted. “I guess I do. Things here are really different, and there is some… stuff… that I miss more than the rest.” He looked up, and again there was a wave of longing that made Zenyatta ache inside. “I was not alone, up there,” Winston continued, but more softly, and then he flinched. “N-not that I am… not that I am not grateful, I mean, Lena and Emily are always with me, and I have Athena! And for a long while, I had, well. Overwatch. I miss that as well, at times –though! It is not why I made the recall.”

“Of course,” and Zenyatta tilted his head towards Winston. His tone was gentle, and Winston deflated a bit. “I believe you, Winston. I know you wished to right wrongs and protect the other agents. Whether they come back or not.”

Winston nodded, perhaps a little forcefully. “Of course. Well, but… there were… others like me, up there. They were not always nice –almost never, really. They wanted so much more, and in a way, now that I’ve tasted freedom, and I came down here, I, uh… understand them a little more. We were confined, and closed off. We had little freedom. They just wanted to be treated better. Most of them were still asses, though.”

“Yet you still think fondly of that time. It is alright, Winston. It is…” he hesitated, the word ‘human’ falling flat considering neither he nor Winston were actually human. “… natural,” he finally said. “To want, to miss, to long for something that is out of our reach now. Even if we’ve learned, and grown, and are far from our roots, there is always a fraction of us that longs to go back then. We always strive to keep the best memories at heart, and let go of the sad ones.”

“… yes.” Winston sounded soft, almost broken. “I find it… ironic. I used to watch Earth from up there, and think about it, about how it looked so different from the moon, how I wished to go there one day, how I wanted to experience something new, and different, and now… now I look up at the moon just the same, and I wish I could… visit.”

Not go back –Winston seemed to enjoy this life. Wistful as it was, even if he missed his peers, it was still clear he would not wish to go back there permanently.

But a visit? That, he still wanted.

“I heard there were attempts to send ships to check over the base,” Zenyatta said, and Winston nodded.

“Even then, I don’t think they’d want to employ an ex-overwatch member.” There was no scorn in his tone, just the slightest hint of bitterness. Zenyatta wondered if he had expected someone to contact him, and had yet to receive a call.

“You might have something they need, though. Like knowledge of the base, and an ace in your sleeve. Metaphorically, of course.”

Winston snorted again. “Point taken. Yet, they’d still have to contend with a bunch of enraged lunar gorillas. Fancy that.”

“Either way, it seems like something that is still far in the future. There might be time to consider what to do.” Zenyatta looked up at the moon again. The base was invisible from this distance, but Zenyatta entertained himself by imagining it nonetheless, abandoned except for all of Winston’s old… mates.

“Doctor Winston… that is, Doctor Harold Winston, the man who taught me to read,” Winston said, unexpectedly, “is why I am not up there with them. I, uh, I’m sure Genji told you about… me.”

“He has spoken to me about you, before, yes, but only in terms of your presence as another overwatch agent. I do not really know about your life, other than what was on the news at the time.”

Winston started, seeming surprised, then nodded. “Yeah, well… he was my mentor. He treated me like… like I mattered. Sometimes, he made me forget I was not… well. It is why I never thought to join the others, when they started getting angry. Scary, scared. Perhaps I was just lucky. I don’t know. But he is the one I miss the most.”

Above them, the moon flickered out of sight, covered by a cloud. Zenyatta looked down, the dark expanse of the sea a black hole that shimmered only a little without the light. “Is that why you took his name?” he asked. “As a connection?”

“… yes.”

“It is what I did, as well.” Winston’s head snapped to him, surprised, but Zenyatta was not looking at him. “When Mondatta found me, and gave me a purpose, I had no name before that. Only an identification number.” And Winston found himself nodding along, because that had been him, as well. “And then I was offered to find a name for myself, and I wanted to honour the connection I had created between myself and my brother, in a way that would remind both of us of it, in case…” his synth glitched, and Winston looked away, giving him space. “… in case we ended up far from one another. It is why I am Zenyatta, and he is Mondatta.”

He knew Winston was not quite sure of what he meant –and he knew he would look, or ask Athena to look, and they would find an old, almost forgotten album released almost a century in the past. It would not tell Winston much about the why, or the how… but Zenyatta knew he would understand regardless.

“He acted like a father to me, and taught me what a father was.” Winston sighed, and when Zenyatta looked at him, he had his eyes closed. Above them, the clouds dispersed, and the light of the moon bathed them both again.

For a while, neither spoke, simply staring at the sky, but Zenyatta could feel Winston steal small, hesitant glances every now and then. He wondered if he wanted Zenyatta to leave, or if he was bothered by the silence, but before he could offer to leave, Winston cleared his throat.

“You, uh. I just wanted. I mean. There is something I wanted to…” he fumbled with himself, legs curled against him, and fidgeted. He towered over Zenyatta, yet there was nothing dangerous or imposing about him, at least not now.

“I do not mind questions, Winston. If there is something you wish to know, I will do my best to answer.”

“Yes, alright. Yes. Well, I…” he wrung his hands together, and Zenyatta allowed him some time. “It is… well. I heard, about the Shambali. Not much, I was never… interested, but I did follow Master Mondatta’s… er…” Winston looked away sharply, probably feeling like mentioning Mondatta in front of him would cause pain, but Zenyatta said nothing, and kept the small pang of pain hidden, so not to scare Winston into silence. “That is to say, since you joined us, I’ve wanted to ask… what is the Iris?”

Zenyatta made a small, understanding sound. “Quite a complex question.”

“Sorry about that.”

“No, it is alright. The Iris is… encompassing. It is the start, and the end. It is within everything, and everything is made of it. I am aware that religious beliefs are personal, and many would be opposed in the face of a religion born by non-organic creatures, a religion that calls for equality and cooperation, but…” he raised one hand, and a swirl of Harmony flashed through his fingers, before disappearing again. “I believe what I can see, and what I can touch. And the Iris flows within me with every spin and turn of my core. We are all one with the Iris, whether we choose to or not.”

He paused, looked at Winston, and exhaled softly. “Would you be happy, if I were to tell you doctor Harold Winston is one within the Iris? That he is at peace? That both he and Mondatta are part of something greater than us, now, but still linger?”

Winston froze, even his fidgeting suddenly stopped, and refused to look at him. “Is… is he?”

“I cannot say that for certain, just like I cannot say Mondatta is there. I choose to believe it, that once we are gone, we turn to the Iris, even if our conscious is gone… but this knowledge would not bring you any comfort, because it does not erase the wound that his loss caused you. Whether you believe the Iris exists, whether you think my abilities come from something else –a God Ai, omnic energy, or something entirely different… my words would offer no closure. The doctor is gone, and so is Mondatta, and we are left to gather the pieces of ourselves to fill the void.”

Winston made a soft, disgruntled sound, and Zenyatta sighed, feeling a wave of pain wash over him, then one of understanding, both strong and raw, as heartfelt as they were fierce.

“Do you _believe_ they are?” he asked then.

“I do.” Zenyatta chuckled softly, mirthless. “It does nothing to soothe the pain, nor is it as reassuring as I wish it was, and I am learning to live with this lack of balance.”

“How…” Winston caught himself, then shook his head, laughing softly. “Sorry.”

“Please do not say sorry. It is… reassuring to know that no matter how many years will go by, I will still find myself remembering my brother, just like you remember your father.” Winston’s eyes grew bigger, but the pang of melancholy coming from him made Zenyatta aware he’d appreciated how he had referred to doctor Winston. “Sometimes I am afraid I will forget him. His attitude, his actions, his gestures, the way he sounded, the cadence of his voice. I fear all I will have left will be my memories and his legacy. I feel at times it might be too heavy of a burden.”

“I still…” there was a little choked sound in Winston’s voice, but he swallowed it down. “I still remember his voice when he called me closer, when he had to leave for a few days and came back with a gift. Or the way he spoke about Earth to me. I remember he fiddled a lot with his glasses. Sometimes I dream of him, but as I am today. He tells me I’m doing alright.”

“I do believe you are,” Zenyatta finally leaned closer, one hand gently touching Winston’s arm. “You are doing rather well, in fact.”

“… thank you.” Winston wrinkled his nose at him. “Hard to believe, at times, but I have to try, right?”

“I always tell him that too,” Athena’s voice piped in from an unseen speaker, and both Zenyatta and Winston jumped a little at the sudden noise. “But he never listens. Like he never listens when I tell him to go to bed. He might not be human, but sleep is for everyone. Even super-intelligent gorillas.”

“Even omnics,” Zenyatta agreed. “It is rather late, since you mentioned having to wake up to try and recruit more people tomorrow morning.”

Winston threw him a wounded look, but he was smiling. “Are you two teaming up against me? That is unfair.”

“You could take us both,” Athena said, then hummed. “Perhaps. I do not think you would want to –after all, we only speak the truth. We cannot be silenced.”

Winston chuckled, but he did stand up. “I might as well give up now, else we spend the rest of the night fighting about that, huh?” then he looked at Zenyatta, and for a moment, Winston’s attitude changed back, and he looked awkward once more. “Uh… Zenyatta, you… are you also coming back?”

“… yes. I will return to my bedroom as well.” Zenyatta stood up. Even standing, Winston still towered over him. “Thank you for your company.”

A hand suddenly reached out for his shoulder, so heavy Zenyatta went down a few inches, back curving under its weight. “No, thank you. I’m sorry I went all…” Winston made a small, aborted mission with his other hand.

“I am not,” he interrupted him. “Maybe I’ll join you again, another night. Provided there is a visible moon, of course.”

“O-of course. Yes. Well, uh. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Winston. Goodnight, Athena.”

Athena’s giggle filled the silence, making it lighter. “Sadly, my AI rarely rests, but the thought is what counts. Goodnight, master Zenyatta.”

Zenyatta watched as Winston tensed, muscles ready to move, and moved by a sudden inspiration, he stepped towards him. “Winston.”

Winston halted, blinking in surprise, and pushed his glasses up his face. “Uh. Yes?”

“We might be poor replacements, and there are many things we cannot truly share –humans, omnics, enhanced gorillas… but Winston. We all live here, now. We stand by each other. We fight, we live, we listen. It might not mend this loneliness of yours, but you will still find us by your side when you need it.”

The wave of feelings that flowed through Zenyatta was overwhelming, happiness and fondness and gratefulness mixing with the bitter taste of sadness, of regret and pain and melancholy, almost heady to his senses.

Then, Winston nodded, cleared his throat, and made a small, aborted motion –like he’d wanted to hug Zenyatta, but felt it not proper to do so.

“Thank you. I hope you know we will try our best to be, well. A welcoming… group. Yes, group.”

Family, he almost said, and Zenyatta could not read minds, but he could read between the lines.

“Yes,” he said, voice soft. “I do like that thought.”

Winston disappeared with a few bounces, his speed carrying him quickly out of sight, and Zenyatta straightened his back.

With one last glance at the moon –silent, quiet, its pale light watching over them– he walked towards the stairs, and started his trip back to his room, where Genji waited for him, still cocooned in his nest of blankets.


End file.
